December 23, by Bethany Crawley

SCRIPTURE
Matthew 4: 13-16
[Jesus] left Nazareth and made his home in Capernaum…so that what had been spoken through the prophet Isaiah might be fulfilled:
“Land of Zebulun, land of Naphtali, on the road by the sea, across the Jordan, Galilee of the Gentiles - the people who sat in darkness have seen a great light, and for those who sat in the region and shadow of death light has dawned.”

I have to start with a confession: I have tried a few times to start this blog. I have talked about it with myself, discussing it out loud while driving; I sat down and read the scripture a couple of times; I surfed Bible Gateway to see different versions. But nothing profound, deeply satisfying, enlightening or inspiring came to me.So, I just did not write.I have been a little embarrassed to see Michelle lately. I have mostly stayed a few steps away from her, smiling at a safe distance and nodding my hellos. She knew, of course, that I had not written anything in response to her request that I blog. I am days overdue now. In fact, I wanted this morning to tell her how wonderful her sermon was, how I have fallen in love with the salutation and prayer to Mary, Full of Grace.

I wanted to tell her how I sometimes, at night when I go in to check on my daughterEliza, I put my face close to her warm cheek and whisper . . . "Mary, Full of Grace, Blessed are you among women. Blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus; Holy Mary, Mother of Our God, pray for us sinners, both now and at the hour of our deaths." I sometimes whisper the whole thing. I sometimes whisper this prayer and need almost to cry because I can physically feel my heart swell in a way that tightens my throat. I whisper this prayer because, if it were spoken out loud, I could not bear the love it brings with it.

The part about this prayer that levels me every time is the word "now." It is so beseeching. It is so immediate. Now, in this moment, we cry out for grace. Pray Now, please! Intervene in this moment. Come now.

Most of us are not ready. We are not really ready for God to come - not right now. Most of us are still waiting to look into the faces of our enemies and see our brothers and our sisters. Most of us are still waiting to hear those still words calling us during the longest of our nights, words that will bring light, clarity and the promised peace that passes our limited understanding. Most of us are waiting to have the courage of heart to follow the calls that we have already heard. Most of us cannot say that we have done enough to shelter those in need, to feed those children who are hungry, much less their parents. Most of us have not done enough to lift up and carry for a distance the least among us. Probably, many of us fear that our eyes are not prepared for the full light of pure love.

I long for a time when I am ready. I long for a time when I can bear the love that comes with the breath that beseeches Got to come now.

Bethany Crawley, an elder at Riverside Presbyterian Church, is a great lawayer but a more amazing yoga instructer. She has just opened Lotus Yoga on Stockton. Yoga with Bethany often is a mix of a great workout, prayer and worship. Bethany also directs the Cold Nights Sheltor for RPC. If you would like to volunteer to help at the homeless sheltor anytime this winter on a Tuesday......contact her at Bethany@lotusyogajax.com